‘Only Dave and I knew how a lot ache he was once hiding as he filmed Hairy Bikers one closing time…’ Widow LILI MYERS remembers the closing weeks of her liked husband’s most cancers fight – and a shockingly transferring second in his ultimate hours

I’ve nonetheless now not watched the general sequence of The Hairy Bikers. I’m now not certain I may just endure it.

Dave, my liked husband, was once way more poorly than he let on publicly at that time. Most folks wouldn’t understand or realise the importance, however I do know I’d recognise a glance on his face, a slight wince in the way in which he moved or steadied his steadiness, and I don’t need to be reminded of his battle.

I nearly really feel accountable admitting that, understanding how a lot Dave, Si and the team put into that ultimate award-winning sequence, The Hairy Bikers Go West.

When filming ended, my guy appeared shattered. He painted a masks of bravery on his pretty face and concealed his true emotions in the back of smiles… however as his spouse and soulmate, I may just see it. I may just really feel it.

He by no means spoke about it, however I may just sense he was once slowly giving up.

At the beginning of 2023, we had been bold to really feel extra hopeful about existence once more. Dave’s urge for food had returned, and he’d began baking and cooking once more.

He had even purchased himself a brand new motorcycle, a gorgeous olive-coloured Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Trials.

What a triumph it was once after I noticed him wobbling against it on his unsteady legs after which in the end mountain climbing onto it within the store.

It was once delivered a couple of days later, and having the ability to get on a motorcycle over again and really feel the engine revving gave Dave any such spice up.

His health facility remedy was once extra bearable than it have been earlier than, and because the daffodils started to sprout on our driveway and the birds began chirping once more, it felt like a brand new morning time the place anything else could be conceivable.

In the spring of 2023 there was once communicate of a brand new TV sequence for Dave and Si. It was once to be referred to as The Hairy Bikers Go West and would see the lads exploring cities and providers alongside the United Kingdom’s western coast.

Dave and I agonised over whether or not he must say sure to this venture. His remedy will require meticulous operating round, bodily and logistically. He had scientific appointments to wait and there could be days when his power ranges could be too low to paintings.

But most commonly, Dave sought after to verify I used to be OK with him spending sessions of time clear of house. Away from me.

He was once conscious that the long run was once unsure and this was once valuable time for us. ‘Lil, what do

Dave Myers with his fellow Hairy Biker, Si King. They met while working on the TV production of Catherine Cookson’s The Gambling Man in 1994 and bonded over their love of motorcycles

you take into accounts me going to movie those months?’ he requested. ‘I won’t settle for this activity in case you don’t need me to. I’d perceive and appreciate your opinion.’

I thought him, however how may just I say no after I knew how a lot it supposed to him? When he had the danger, as soon as once more, to do what he cherished and to really feel customary and

worthy once more? To get away the agonising regimen of hospitals, remedies and the tough fact of this merciless sickness?

He sought after to be the one who made peculiar issues occur once more. To attach along with his public and likewise to put across a message that you’ll be able to nonetheless have a existence thru most cancers. It didn’t have to prevent the whole thing.

So despite the fact that I used to be conscious that this was once shortening our time in combination, I inspired him to head for it.

None of it was once simple. On Thursdays Dave had chemo and could be in health facility all day. Fridays had been most commonly spent in mattress with nausea and weak spot. Saturdays had been a little higher and so he’d go back and forth to the shoot location, then movie on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesdays he’d go back and forth house in a position to begin far and wide once more.

I in truth don’t understand how he did it. How he discovered the psychological and bodily power to get in this treadmill and ship a complete sequence is past me.

In the previous, Dave would by no means let me lend a hand him in his arrangements for paintings or going away. His baggage was once for him by myself to pack and at all times executed as a strict regimen. Until now. 

Now he wanted and permitted my lend a hand when it got here to packing his baggage. ‘What do you think about this shirt, Lil? The blue one or the purple one?’ ‘Which jacket should I take with me? I think the weather will be quite nice so maybe this lighter one?’

Those types of questions had at all times been rhetorical as a result of

he already knew precisely what he sought after. But now it was once other.

The first day of filming was once at the Isle of Bute, off the west coast of Scotland. He was once so worried but so satisfied as I drove him to his resort to sign up for the team.

As we pulled into the grounds, he noticed one thing that made him shriek with excitement: his motorcycle for the sequence. Eyes gleaming, he climbed out of the automobile and made his approach against it, circling it a couple of occasions to soak up its good looks.

A BSA Gold Star – a design vintage of its generation, fabricated from the 1930s to the 1960s.

It had passed through some alterations at the gear-shifting pedal to house the limited motion in his left leg brought about by means of neuropathy, and I watched his

face as he inspected each and every little bit of it. I’d observed him do that time and again prior to now – when he and Si met their motorcycles for any imminent sequence it was once at all times with large pleasure.

Just a couple of months earlier than, Dave had concept he’d by no means have this opportunity once more, so this was once a second to treasure.

He knew this could be his closing sequence. We each knew.

The manufacturing corporate took nice care to offer the whole thing wanted for Dave, even using a nurse at the shoot. Si, too, was once very protecting and was once the primary one to verify Dave had sufficient leisure or meals and that he was once managing to stay tempo.

The entire procedure will have to were extraordinarily onerous emotionally for Si, seeing his buddy going thru this sickness however discovering the braveness and power to do it one closing time, identical to the outdated days.

Except it wasn’t just like the outdated days in any respect. Not for any of them. Their filming time was once shorter than same old, their operating days within the week had been diminished and the whole thing needed to be constructed round Dave’s bodily functions.

Dave and Lili Myers on their wedding ceremony day. Lili writes: ‘Dave joked that after I married him in 2011 I additionally married Si [King], and there was once greater than a grain of reality in that’

There was once further drive, but no person complained; everyone did their best possible to make issues as simple as conceivable. There was once additionally a cookbook within the pipeline and this happy Dave without end. Working and incomes made him really feel customary once more and I couldn’t were extra happy with him when he unfolded a field of freshly published copies of his and Si’s ultimate e-book, Ultimate Comfort Food. What an fulfillment it was once.

People are at all times stunned to be informed that lengthy earlier than The Hairy Bikers took off, Dave was once an excessively a hit makeup artist for 23 years. Fresh out of his stage direction at Goldsmiths, University of London, he carried out for a BBC traineeship in makeup and prosthetics and was once selected out of 3,000 candidates – the primary male to be taken at the scheme. His portfolio incorporated most sensible TV sequence and films with one of the crucial trade’s largest names.

Specialising in prosthetics and particular results, Dave was once two times nominated for a Bafta for his paintings. He had a bottomless pit of news in regards to the motion pictures and faces that he labored on. Christopher Lambert, Roger Moore, Dennis Hopper, Helen Mirren, Stephanie Beacham, Timothy West, Michael Parkinson, Vanessa Redgrave… the record is going on.

Recently I got here throughout a message from Roger Moore, handwritten on a web page from the InterContinental Hotel in Luxembourg. ‘My dear David,’ it learn, ‘thank you for taking such good care of my old face! I look forward to repeating the experience.’

Dave as soon as took me to the Luxembourg eating place the place he and Sir Roger would dine in combination whilst taking pictures a film referred to as The Enemy, again in 2000. He even named one in every of his automobiles Sir Roger, an outdated Bentley Continental that had a satnav set to Mr Moore’s gentlemanly tones.

Dave didn’t realise it on the time, however 1994 would change into one of the vital years of his existence as a makeup artist.

He was once operating at the TV manufacturing of Catherine Cookson’s The Gambling Man when he right away get on well with the sequence location supervisor.

This was once a bloke by means of the identify of Simon King… and it was once the start of a pretty friendship that might take them world wide, bringing the type of luck they might best have dreamed of as boys rising up in Barrow-In-Furness and County Durham.

They bonded over their shared love of motorcycles, meals and ‘talking b******s’, and over the following few years labored in combination on numerous productions. 

As their friendship grew, they started to dance a couple of concepts round. They have been informed by means of individuals who had observed them prepare dinner in combination that that they had one thing particular with their simple, breezy camaraderie and mutual love of excellent grub… was once there some way of mixing meals, tradition, friendship, humour, go back and forth and motorcycle rides into some form of pitch for a tv display?

To maximum it will appear not possible. Improbable at highest. And it undoubtedly didn’t occur in a single day. It was once two years after their first conversations that Dave and Si even filmed a pilot on what was once a shoestring funds of simply £1,200.

But the lads by no means stopped believing, and at the again of that haphazard pilot, which concerned a microlight flight, cockles and numerous laughter, they gained a fee from BBC2 to make one episode from Portugal, which aired in January 2005.

It was once named The Hairy Bikers’ Cookbook and audience had been charmed by means of this pair of down-to-earth, customary blokes. The leisure, as you could say, is historical past.

The friendship Dave and Si shared on display screen and on level was once precisely because it was once in the back of the scenes in actual existence. Dave joked that after I married him in 2011 I additionally married Si, and there was once greater than a grain of reality in that.

Keen on the lads as soon as stated to me, ‘It must be so much fun living with The Hairy Bikers!’ I couldn’t persuade him that the joys I had at house was once best with my husband, and indisputably now not as a part of a threesome. When I informed Dave in regards to the alternate later, he couldn’t prevent giggling.

I finished counting the days the 2 folks had been consuming in a cafe and Dave could be requested, ‘Where’s your friend?’ Sometimes they’d nod over to me after which whisper conspiratorially in Dave’s ear, ‘I won’t inform your mate that you simply’re out with a girl…’

Si and Mike (pictured at Mike’s wedding ceremony) have been informed by means of individuals who had observed them prepare dinner in combination that that they had one thing particular with their simple, breezy camaraderie and mutual love of excellent grub

In industry and in friendship they knew they might depend on every different, and that’s uncommon. Dave and Si would end every different’s sentences, understanding intuitively what the opposite was once about to mention a few recipe or one way of cooking.

Dave would also have conversations with Si in his sleep – deep discussions about recipes and elements. ‘No, that’s now not proper, Kingy. Add a little of this, take a look at that!’

One night time, he was once having the sort of talks and changing into reasonably animated in spite of being rapid asleep, and I simply put my hand on him to check out to calm him down slightly. ‘Don’t contact my bum, Kingy!’ he stated, now not even waking.

Between sequence, the 2 of them would take off for boys’ weekends – getting sloshed in an ice bar in Iceland or playing the wonderful eating in Niklas Ekstedt’s eating place in Stockholm. These guys certain knew have amusing in combination. I think extremely fortunate to have had a front-row seat as this friendship advanced into a gorgeous on-screen partnership, one that introduced happiness to such a lot of.

Towards the tip of October 2023, issues began to switch. Dave appeared more and more drained and his blood effects weren’t nice. Nevertheless, he controlled to complete the TV sequence after which paintings on a Christmas particular.

As quickly as he completed the voiceovers for Go West I took him away to Tenerife for every week within the solar. I knew if we stayed at house he would to find it tough because the realisation that his operating days had been over sank in. I apprehensive that the despair would make his sickness development extra temporarily, and so I driven for yet another revel in with him, yet another journey to take us clear of what we knew was once coming.

He took some convincing for the reason that go back and forth supposed taking a flight and Dave was once reasonably understandably petrified of the bustle of airports. But after we were given to the island, he comfortable.

We did little or no else that week instead of learn, leisure, consume and swim. There was once nobody to trouble us, no distractions or different commitments, simply us being in combination.

He cherished the go back and forth such a lot that he booked some other on the similar position for that coming Christmas, this time for the entire circle of relatives: my kids – who was his stepchildren – Sergiu and Iza and their companions.

Maybe it was once a valiant try to prolong the inevitable or most likely it was once a superhuman effort to make me satisfied and get some other vacation spoil into the financial institution of reminiscences. Whatever the incentive, I did my highest to cover my fears and cross along side his plans, hoping for the power to head thru with no matter he sought after.

But that closing circle of relatives go back and forth was once to not be. When I awoke at the day we had been because of fly out, I became my head in Dave’s path and knew immediately we weren’t going anyplace except for to the health facility. I may just see the discontentment in his eyes and knew he felt he was once letting me down. ‘Darling,’ I stated, ‘you’re now not neatly. Please don’t really feel dangerous.’

I put him within the automotive and we headed instantly to the health facility the place we spent the entire day having checks, none of which gave us just right information. The youngsters had flown by means of that time and we informed them to stick in Tenerife and benefit from the vacation.

But that Christmas was once now not a very easy one. The closing Christmas. The closing weeks of our existence in combination. The closing hopes vanishing with each and every breath.

Whether loss of life comes all at once or after an extended sickness, there’s trauma for the folk left in the back of. For the surviving spouse and circle of relatives, the ache of loss brings the similar whys and what ifs, the similar anger, melancholy, sorrow and guilt, all the ones daggers stabbing on the middle and tormenting the thoughts.

Perhaps having the time to mention your goodbyes can lend a hand with so-called closure and convey about some sense of peace, however there’s little convenience in that after you need to witness your beloved progressively shrinking, their wits and spirit dissolving earlier than your eyes.

Lili Myers, pictured at house, says her overdue husband Dave informed her ‘I’m now not going anyplace!’ in his demise hours. She provides: ‘He’s nonetheless all over. In each and every unmarried facet of my existence’

The disappointment and powerlessness I felt whilst nursing Dave are indescribable. Watching his power slowly disappear, the hearth in his eyes turning to tiredness, his frame shrivelling and the hope fading away… till there was once no hope left in any respect. Just ache, capsules and drips to control.

After being out and in of health facility over Christmas, New Year and over the primary week of 2024, Dave was once allowed house, the place I sorted him, supported by means of district nurses, the peculiar seek advice from from the GP and a military of family and friends who made certain I used to be by no means by myself.

I invited outdated buddies to come back and seek advice from so that they’d have an opportunity to mention their goodbyes. We had folks in the home always. On autopilot, I busied myself with the on a regular basis jobs that wanted doing.

I made certain there was once wooden by means of the hearth and that the hearth was once at all times roaring in Dave’s favorite room with all his antiques. I’d take the canine out for walks. Clinging on to these mundane duties as though my existence relied on them.

Dave was once consuming much less and not more each day, losing away, and I may just do not anything however cry in melancholy and frustration at my restricted skills to fix things. Sometimes he’d inform me he fancied a McDonald’s, so I’d power a couple of miles to fetch one, best to observe him push the plate away after I returned.

He was once drifting out and in of sleep and wanted expanding ache medicine when wakeful. The desperation and confusion over what to do and care for it was once overwhelming. I had no say in what went on. It simply came about and I bore witness to it.

I didn’t consume as a result of my frame didn’t want or settle for any meals. Everything felt surreal. The surreal imminence of loss of life. The finality of it.

Dave Myers creating a cocktail for the Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British TV sequence

And the notice that my existence would trade in a single second whether or not I sought after it to or now not. For two years, since he was once 64, I’d watched Dave die – each day slightly bit extra – hoping with all my will for a distinct consequence whilst additionally making ready myself for the worst.

As he took his closing breaths, I attempted to respire for him, considering perhaps it will lend a hand him.

And then… silence.

The silence that comes after the general breath is concurrently the worst ache and essentially the most holy second, as it indicates such profound and irreversible trade.

Everything after this is other. You’re now not the similar and not will probably be once more. How can one breath trade your existence such a lot?

As a lot as I hate the phrase with a zeal, one breath made me a widow.

One breath. One second. And there’s no ‘us’ any further. Just me.

There was once a second, in Dave’s ultimate hours, when I used to be at his bedside, telling him how a lot I cherished him and that if he had to cross, I’d be all proper.

By then he was once closely sedated, reputedly between worlds, and hadn’t been responsive for numerous days. But hastily he responded: ‘I’m now not going anyplace!’

That was once Dave. It makes me smile now as a result of, after all, he was once reasonably proper. He’s now not long gone. He’s nonetheless all over. In each and every unmarried facet of my existence.

© Lili Myers, 2025

Adapted from Dave And Me by means of Lili Myers (Ebury Spotlight, £22), to be revealed June 19. To order a replica for £19.80 (be offering legitimate to 28/06/25; UK p&p loose on orders over £25) cross to mailshop.co.united kingdom/books or name 020 3176 2937.