A second that modified me: I used to be shy and cared an excessive amount of what other people considered me. Then a bunch of Okay-pop fanatics got here into my lifestyles

‘You need to listen to this,” said my friend Helen over her birthday lunch in 2018. “Have you ever heard of K-pop?” I hadn’t – I didn’t are aware of it used to be brief for Korean pop tune, or about Okay-pop “idols” (stars). She performed me songs by way of the South Korean boyband SHINee and I used to be right away captivated. It jogged my memory of the pop tune I beloved within the 00s, when I used to be rising up: the bombastic tune movies, the repetitive electro-pop hooks, the bands the place each and every member has a definite position, like a circle of relatives. It used to be natural escapism.

Gradually, I began taking note of increasingly more Okay-pop, till I took the plunge and did one thing I’d up to now pushed aside as “cringe”. With my dual sister, Hannah, I went to a Okay-pop-themed “cafe event” on the Gaza cafe in Soho, London. The get-together marked the birthdays of 3 individuals of the boyband GOT7. Their tune movies performed on TV monitors and their album sleeves have been displayed at the stairwell partitions. Mounds of bingsoo – a Korean shaved-ice dessert – have been served.

I used to be stunned to seek out that the cafe match drew a rather blended crowd – together with different Black ladies, like me. I’d anticipated to stay out and felt worried that I may depart feeling ostracised from a scene I’d come to adore. But everybody used to be pleasant and alluring, and we temporarily bonded over our shared – albeit area of interest – pastime. Growing up, I used to be regularly preoccupied by way of what people considered me; right here, no person perceived to care.

As a youngster, I regularly felt I stood out, regardless of my absolute best efforts to mix in. By the time I reached my 20s, I used to be an obese, dark-skinned “four-eyes”, and conscious about it. As a outcome, I did the whole thing I may just to make myself appear smaller: I wore darkish garments, pinned each and every strand of my afro hair flat to my head and rarely spoke at paintings. Yet on the Okay-pop birthday celebration, Black ladies wore vivid make-up, band T-shirts and massive smiles as they shared do-it-yourself photocards (buying and selling playing cards, slightly like soccer stickers), swapped badges and squealed when their favorite tracks have been performed.

From there, my Okay-pop obsession started to snowball. I began taking note of boybands equivalent to MONSTA X, BTS and EXO, then girl teams equivalent to Mamamoo and Dreamcatcher. Helen and I, buddies since secondary faculty, introduced a Okay-pop podcast known as UK-pop (get it?). The model rubbed off on me too: black garments stopped dominating my cloth cabinet as I added a crimson mohair shawl right here, a Lucozade-orange balaclava there; I even purchased a bomber jacket with crimson flamingos far and wide it. I were given silver braids in my hair and wore all my ear piercings directly – one thing I’d up to now have shyed away from, in case it seemed “too much”. I spent greater than £400 on concert events, together with a £160 price ticket to look GOT7 at Wembley Arena which incorporated “hi-touch”, the place you high-five the crowd at the means out of the venue (I will be able to distinctly consider my cologne-scented palm afterwards).

Being a Okay-pop fan bled into my then process as a journalist; I interviewed idols and reviewed concert events. Other Black ladies who have been into Okay-pop contacted me on social media, together with Tasha and Shari, who changed into excellent buddies offline. With my sister and Helen, all of us started assembly up frequently to speak about the most recent Okay-pop information, gigs we’d been to and idol scandals. We went for meals at Korean barbeque eating places, and went to Okay-pop exhibitions, movies and fairs.

I had after all discovered my tribe, a bunch of buddies I may just message day or evening about anything else – no longer simply Okay-pop – and really feel utterly supported. In the last decade since I first encountered Okay-pop tradition, we’ve remained a tight-knit team, encouraging each and every different thru new jobs, shifting homes, circle of relatives bereavements and plenty of different giant lifestyles selections. We plan to seek advice from Seoul collectively within the subsequent couple of years – my ultimate seek advice from used to be in 2019, the place my sister and I spent a day going to look the headquarters of Okay-pop labels together with SM Entertainment and JYP.

Although my Okay-pop obsession isn’t as intense because it used to be, an ATEEZ live performance in January jogged my memory of why I fell in love with it so exhausting. Yes, I benefit from the tune, however it’s additionally all the way down to the nice and cozy, humorous other people Okay-pop has introduced into my orbit, shut buddies who’ve inspired me to let my guard down.

I’m now in my 30s and I nonetheless aspire to be extra just like the carefree ladies in vivid make-up I met on the Gaza cafe all the ones years in the past. I’ve realized that individuals aren’t just about as judgmental as I as soon as feared – and if they’re, so what? As Okay-pop megastars BTS would say: you’ll’t prevent me loving myself.