Not even a bog-washing from Sir Tony Blair may douse Ed Miliband’s self-confidence.
Energy Secretary Mr Miliband got here prancing into the Commons dressage ring. He was once at the guidelines of his hooves, gnashers bared, swishing his tail.
These are glory days for goofball Ed. Ten years after his rejection on the 2015 basic election he’s again within the cockpit of our country’s affairs, inflicting chaos. Man of future rediscovers process to which he was once born.
Dawn introduced information that Sir Tony had denounced the ‘irrationality’ and ‘hysteria’ of the local weather alternate debate. Was the previous PM telling Downing Street, ‘Miliband is a mad legal responsibility and he will need to be sacked’?
Sir Keir Starmer‘s private poisoner, the Celtic mystic Morgan McSweeney, can have reached a an identical conclusion.
Yet Mr Miliband is it appears adored through Labour’s Left-wing activists. If button-man Morgan wanted to place a slug between Ed’s crossed eyes it’s going to want to be a blank, unmarried shot.
Commons power questions allowed MPs to invite about Net Zero, Britain’s ‘management on local weather alternate’ and the facility reduce in Spain and Portugal, which some folks blame on over-reliance on sun and wind energy.
Mr Miliband pooh-poohed that final one, insisting ‘we mustn’t bounce to conclusions’ concerning the Iberian blackout. It was once the one time within the consultation that he sounded cautious. The remainder of the time our hero was once implausibly, insistently upbeat, gabbling concerning the financial benefits, as he noticed them, of giving up oil and gasoline.
Ten years after his rejection on the 2015 basic election, Ed is again within the cockpit of our country’s affairs, inflicting chaos

Ed Miliband (R), UK power safety secretary, and British Prime Minster Keir Starmer (L), all through the International Summit at the Future of Energy Security in London, April 24, 2025
He leaned an elbow at the despatch field and allowed his hand – measurement of a ping-pong bat – to swivel horizontally left and proper. At unpredictable moments the hand clenched. Think of a Venus flytrap snapping close on a juicy bluebottle.
Were Labour MPs cooler to him than previously? Brian Leishman (Lab, Alloa & Grange-mouth) indisputably wasn’t purchasing the Miliband pitch. His constituency’s once-great oil refinery closed the day gone by.
Mr Leishman tore into the minister with outstanding violence. ‘During the overall election marketing campaign the Labour management mentioned they’d step in and save the roles on the refinery,’ he spat.
‘What has modified and why have we no longer finished the practical factor for Scotland’s power safety?’
It has been a very long time since an MP attacked his personal aspect with such fervour.
Labour’s responsibility whip, Anna Turley, leapt to her cellular phone and began tapping an SOS. Another whip, Jeff Smith, got here steaming into the chamber and stood through the Speaker’s chair, a prairie canine scanning the Labour benches for bother. Mr Smith’s left eye was once somewhat much less open than its proper counterpart. It gave him a well sinister air.
Mr Miliband ran his lengthy tongue spherical his lips, tasting the cordite of struggle. He isn’t any coward. Debate energises him. Drives him even nuttier. Twitches and convulsions attacked his frame.
He fiddled together with his mouth, performed a finger on his rubbery lips, checked the knot of his tie and cackled whilst staring at myopically on the press gallery. When the Tories’ Joy Morrissey discussed the Spanish energy cuts, Mr Miliband pulled 100 faces of scorn. Nick Timothy (Con, West Suffolk) accused him of caving in to Europe on carbon costs.
Mr Miliband groaned, grimaced and flicked thru his folder. He waggled his wrists, drilled his forefinger into the despatch field so arduous it should have harm. He rubbed his ears, blew his conk right into a scrunched handkerchief, hugged himself, picked at his enamel. He giggled and honked abuse at fighters. He rocked with hilarity and positioned his proper hand on his proper hip, camp as Larry Grayson.
‘This Government has one undertaking and one undertaking on my own: blank, home-grown energy,’ he cried.
I’m the federal government. The executive is my division.
He was once so filled with all of it that as he pogo-sticked off on the finish he left his cellular phone and safety go at the bench and his deficient colleague Sarah Jones needed to tidy up after him. Chaos. Yes, that is the phrase.